Happy Birthday Skylar

I find it so hard to believe it’s been a year since I kissed you. It’s been a year since I saw your face for the first time, and felt more love flow over me than any other time in my life. It’s been a year since I stared at you, holding my breath, silently... Continue Reading →

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Living

It’s been two months since I’ve written anything. When people ask why I’ve stopped writing, my usual response is that I simply don’t need to. However, I’m beginning to realize that’s not entirety true. I spend every waking moment keeping myself preoccupied. In fact, in the passed two months, I’ve traveled, built friendships, and gotten... Continue Reading →

I Choose

I went to my first support group last night. As I sat in my car on a cold, dark afternoon outside an enormous church, I was afraid. I sat in the darkness and used my extra time to think about my little boy. I listened to one of the many songs that make me think... Continue Reading →

Laughter

Before losing my son, everyone would always describe me as a happy person beyond measure. I recall always being complimented for my smile, my unique laugh, and my bubbly personality. Understandably, I experience these types of compliments far less now. Since my son was born, I look at this in a different light. I have... Continue Reading →

Skylar Bear

I got something very important in the mail today. Yesterday was the worst day I’ve had in many. For some reason, missing my son like I do every day was unbearable. Every time I went to the bathroom while I was at work, I would cry. In fact, I took extra trips just to weep in... Continue Reading →

November

Yesterday was Halloween. I am consciously avoiding all social media today. The flood of pictures of tiny cowboys, little chickens, and baby lumberjacks seems to be ripping a hole in my chest. I made a conscious effort not to think of what I would have dressed my sweet Skylar as for his first Halloween, just... Continue Reading →

No mud, No lotus

It’s been two months since I’ve used writing to heal my heart, and so many things have happened since then.We were in two weddings. Michael and I played key roles in the weddings for some very important people in our lives. I cried for different reasons than those I had grown used to. I cried... Continue Reading →

Frozen

Yesterday, as I stood outside on an early fall afternoon, I watched my dogs run around under the enormous maple trees in our front yard. The trees have been turning colors and I'm not nearly as excited about it as I usually am. Fall has always been my favorite season, but I feel as though... Continue Reading →

Dreams

Two months ago today, my son was born. His due date has come and gone, as has the date I was to be induced. The one month anniversary came and went, and though it wasn’t easy, I made it through all of those days without too much trouble. Today, however, that is quite different. Today,... Continue Reading →

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