November

Yesterday was Halloween. I am consciously avoiding all social media today. The flood of pictures of tiny cowboys, little chickens, and baby lumberjacks seems to be ripping a hole in my chest. I made a conscious effort not to think of what I would have dressed my sweet Skylar as for his first Halloween, just... Continue Reading →

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No mud, No lotus

It’s been two months since I’ve used writing to heal my heart, and so many things have happened since then.We were in two weddings. Michael and I played key roles in the weddings for some very important people in our lives. I cried for different reasons than those I had grown used to. I cried... Continue Reading →

Frozen

Yesterday, as I stood outside on an early fall afternoon, I watched my dogs run around under the enormous maple trees in our front yard. The trees have been turning colors and I'm not nearly as excited about it as I usually am. Fall has always been my favorite season, but I feel as though... Continue Reading →

Dreams

Two months ago today, my son was born. His due date has come and gone, as has the date I was to be induced. The one month anniversary came and went, and though it wasn’t easy, I made it through all of those days without too much trouble. Today, however, that is quite different. Today,... Continue Reading →

Control

I haven’t written often lately, because I find it easier to share my feelings when they are good. Last week, that was not the case. Reality had sunken in and I had noticed the world around me getting darker and darker. At times, I didn’t know where my life was going anymore, and adjusting to... Continue Reading →

Life Decisions

There is so much comfort that comes with knowing your family approves of your life decisions. In the time I was in labor, my husband was by my side the entire time. Holding my hand, and being there for me every time I began to cry. I endured most of the labor naturally, as the... Continue Reading →

Conversations

A friend of mine called me when I was three weeks into the nightmare I now live with every day. Her cousin had just joined the worst club there is, she was now a mama like me. A mother of loss. I instantly felt the need to reach out to her. Going through this is... Continue Reading →

A Rose By Any Other Name

Skylar Franklin When the labor and delivery nurse asked me if we had a name for our son, I couldn't speak. Tears welled up in my eyes, and the lump in my throat wouldn't allow it. I heard my husband tell the nurse our sons name. It then became so real. It's astonishing how quickly... Continue Reading →

Brown Recliner

In this brown recliner I bought at a garage sale, I weep. Holding a tiny light brown teddy bear, and a soft white blanket with my sons name printed all over it in blue and gray, I weep. These being the few sentimental items from my hospital stay just weeks ago. This, the blanket he... Continue Reading →

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